"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
Matthew 6:34 (ESV)
Don’t worry about what you will eat or what you will wear. Don’t worry about how you will earn your living. Don’t worry about life after college. Don’t worry about who you will marry. Don’t worry about the uncertainty of your health. Don’t worry about where you will live. “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
That’s a lot of not worrying, and I’m a first-class worrier. I worry when I’m not worried. I fret over the smallest matters and tear myself to pieces over the large ones, and all too often my decision to call on my Lord comes late in the race. But this isn’t even calling on Him in troubles--it’s trusting Him before troubles begin and seeking first His will and His glory. And He by no means promises abundance or ease, but rather just enough to get through this single day.
I have a love-hate relationship with this notion. On the one hand, I love that He promises to provide and that such a promise means that I can trust Him utterly. On the other, this means I ought to and need to trust Him utterly. Spirit battles flesh.
C.S. Lewis once wrote in a letter that “it is a dreadful truth that the state of…’having to depend solely on God’ is what we all dread most.” This is shamefully true. I am so consumed with my own progress and ability that I neglect to give my Creator due credit. Or perhaps I am afraid to relinquish control out of fear that He might make things worse. Such fear is, of course, ridiculous when dwelt upon for any length of time, but He is not me, and part of me finds that disconcerting. That is, until I am reminded once more of His wondrous greatness.
Even so, this poor, conflicted soul refuses to learn her lesson, and thus it is that the grace of God is the mainstay of my life. May it be that, between relapses of worry and control-mongering, I might learn to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness.
SDG
